5 ways to better your communication
Great relationships whether they be romantic, friendship, familial, and even with coworkers evolve and thrive based on good communication. And communication may not be good all the time even in the best relationships. It seems simple enough, Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. But it’s proven not to be so easy since everyone has their own communication style, reacts and views things differently, and when encountering conflict we may fail to do it effectively with someone we haven’t taken the time to learn. There are ques, and more ways that will improve your communication skills with a colleague, friend or partner today, especially if you are dating. We’re gonna show you in 5 awesome tips!
1. Show your hands.
This was a surprising find because we often think the eyes are the first thing a person notices about someone. Not the case, seeing someone's hands and how they are placed makes us feel at ease. Hiding your hands, placing them in your pocket or out of view, will lead someone to believe that you are untrustworthy. This is great dating advice for all our daters! Lesson learned, show your hands!
2. Provoke conversation!
“Hi, how are you?” is a permissible formal greeting but when you want to get to know someone or create a better dialogue, try asking questions that’ll engage.
For example the question above will yield a response close to “Hey, I’m good and you”. Once this is answered, then where does one go? Many times the conversation will have died right there, as soon as the respondents answers “I’m good, thanks.”
Instead try introducing these conversation sidekicks to promote better conversation “ Tell me about your day?”, “Reading or streaming anything worthwhile these days?”, “Working on anything exciting these days?”
These questions should trigger a conversation even with the most introverted person. When you are out on a date, consistently promote conversation by infusing meaningful questions. And it’s already in what your dates are telling you. They are telling you about their life, their career, family, just ask meaningful follow up questions.
3. Listen to whom you're speaking
The cues they give you presently and those from the past. Remember everyone has a different way of communicating. How have they behaved and responded, is how you will communicate. You will need to mirror them as best you can, and be relatable. For Example: “My day sucked! I absolutely hate my job!”
Your response should not be to suggest what they could have done differently that day. This immediate dismissal of what they're conveying to you at that moment is even more important when you're dating or in a romantic relationship.
It’s vital that you acknowledge their feelings. Start by listening and then offering support, depending on the type of relationship, and their cues at that moment will determine what you’ll say. If nothing less, validate their feelings by an acknowledgement void of judgement.
Example response “I’m sorry your day sucked. I remember hating my job a few years back but once I got my resume completed and placed it online I received a lot of offers. Do you think finding a new career path would be beneficial or just a new company?” or “ What can I do to make your day better?”
4. Be intentional and keep it simple
Focus on the task at hand and don’t over talk the person you're speaking with . It’s also important that you are listening and not just waiting for an opportunity to cut in. You should know the issue, how it makes you feel and how you're going to go about addressing that issue alone. Bringing up too many issues at one time when it’s irrelevant can easily cause conflict and you’ll quickly get lost in your mission.
On simplicity, don’t make what you are saying complicated, by using big words that can be misconstrued without a thesaurus. Express your feelings thoughtfully and if you are in a bad mood, wait until those feelings are eased.
Avoid over talking. Constantly repeating yourself, even if in different tones and using different words, saying the same thing will confuse the person you're speaking with, frustrate them or they may mentally check out. And when the other person is responding try not to over talk them, listen, await your opportunity and respond accordingly.
5. perfect your Response
So let’s say the conversation above has gotten heated, and it wasn’t your intention. In certain instances, things can trigger a negative response, or outburst. But we need to check our irrationalism at the door, if our goal is to promote a productive conversation.
And how we do that is to recognize right away when we feel our guard come up and become defensive. Once we take a step back and verbalize to the other person what you're feeling it should start to add water to a fiery conversation. And you may need to continue to repeat this step during the conversation to ease your frustration and the tension. Emotions will always be there, good, bad or indifferent. We just need to keep them balanced.
We hope these tips help in dating, in the workplace, in your family and with your friends. Happy communicating!
Reference :Lifehack , Tony Robbins